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 Post subject: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 4:27 pm 
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At this stage in the game, every two years or so my doc wants to take a video tour of my colon. The staging for this is the worse part, with a tube flush accomplished by my drinking a gallon of salty water. But I refused the anesthetic, wanting to walk out of the place on my own. It was highly uncomfortable and my doctor called me a 'caveman' but did not insist on giving me any pain stuff.

Does anyone else similarly tough it out? I have a friend who got some 'Michael Jackson' drugs (propofol) for the procedure, which I think is nuts.



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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:25 pm 
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Not sure if I'm breaking any rules posting here since I'm not +55 but I had the procedure done in 08' due to a previous situation.

I gotta tell you, I had a real nice little vaction on the "goofy juice" as my doctor called it. When I woke up I had a snack and a soft drink, then got dressed and my wife drove me home.

Don't rember a thing about the procedure and that was just fine with me. :wink:

I do remember right after getting juiced a young girl came in with a five foot cable looped over her shoulder and I started giggling thinking about who's job it would be to clean it afterwards.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:19 pm 
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You missed the good part. I saw something big and hairy on the TV screen and wondered: "Who is that?" until I realized it was me, rear view.

I went outside to my car parked on the street (not in the lot) and drove myself home.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 12:57 pm 
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I had one done a few years back (probably due for another)....I took the goofy juice.....the Dktor's name was Felix Deifendorfer.....they have a large curtained, octagon shaped, pre-surgical area/recovery area......they have piped in music....on the goofy juice before I was brought into the surgical room the music was a N.Y. Philharmonic rendition of Wagner's "The Ride of the Valkyries"....I was laughing so hard they were wondering if they could continue with the procedure.....I have no idea why it struck me so funny...... :lol: :lol: .......Art

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:46 am 
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I'm all for the "better living through chemistry" approach. There are so many things that are too fun to be legal. When you have an opportunity to do them legally, (and have the insurance company pay for it) GO FOR IT!


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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:01 pm 
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What's the point, just have a good nap, that's what I do. Wake up and stop for a good breakfast on the way home.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:11 pm 
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All I know is the stuff they give you is really good. I could have walked out of that hospital butt naked and never would have known the difference. :lol: :lol: The wife stopped at the gas station and bought some donuts, I ate one when I got home, went to sleep, got up 3 hours later and had another one, then another one a little later. I finally woke up fully about 18:00 that night and saw the empty donut bag and asked the wife why she ate all the donuts. Still can't remember a thing, and that is the way I want it.



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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:02 am 
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I understand that in SF, when they are just about to give you the feel good juice, the nurse says something like, "At this point, it is perfectly normal to get an erection". When the patient responds that he doesn't have one, the nurse replys, "But I do!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:46 am 
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Typically, the doctors says: "I'm going to put one hand on your shoulder and with the other hand feel your prostate. You needn't worry unless I have both hands on you shoulders and I'm feeling your prostate."

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:17 pm 
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jugchoke wrote:
I understand that in SF, when they are just about to give you the feel good juice, the nurse says something like, "At this point, it is perfectly normal to get an erection". When the patient responds that he doesn't have one, the nurse replys, "But I do!"



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:58 pm 
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Thanks guys. I just postponed my colonoscopy..... for a LONG TIME!


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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:52 pm 
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Maybe you've seen this before, but it's always worth another read:


Colonoscopy Journal:
By Dave Barry
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, tomake an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go allover the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America’s enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons).Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes-and here I am being kind-like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but,have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy? 'How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down.Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere..I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.'Ha ha,' I said.And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade.If you are squeamish, prepare yourself,because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. Ifelt excellent.I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. On the subject of Colonoscopies...Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients(predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas,we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' And the best one of all:
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:16 am 
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That's good!

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:42 am 
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You oughta find someone to drive you home and try the prophofol, Beau. It doesn't get you high, but you wake up feeling very rested.


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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:01 pm 
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It's not only me. When my father's appendix was busting, he parked three blocks from the VA hospital and walked to keep from getting a ticket. Me? Well, when I had a very painful blood clot in my leg, I walked two blocks to get to the hospital where they put me in a wheelchair. When I got home I walked two blocks to the drug store and back. Then back again and home again because they gave me the wrong prescription.

I just don't like waiting around for a ride.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:46 am 
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It also looks like you enjoy walking. Perhaps I'll follow your example and walk home next time I get a colonoscopy. I'll still take the propofol though.


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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:11 pm 
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I was awake for mine, just "relaxed". Towards the end he says: "Now just around this last corner and you'll be able to see the back of your teeth"!

For me, it was worth watching everything on the monitor, but I kind of like to know whats going on too.


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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:47 pm 
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This is the last word in colonoscopy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxoOvj9XngM

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:51 pm 
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Beau Ouville wrote:

Does anyone else similarly tough it out? I have a friend who got some 'Michael Jackson' drugs (propofol) for the procedure, which I think is nuts.

I had a cystoscopy in my urologist's office without anesthesia. Sure, the scope isn't as big and doesn't go as far, but I dare anyone to try sticking a pencil up their weenie and saying they liked how it felt. I only did it because the doc said it would take about 30 seconds, just to take a quick look. Felt like 3 minutes, but it saved having to go through all the red tapeof getting admitted to surgery, etc.

Propofol is one of the safest of all anesthetic agents, when used correctly. MJ's doc wasn't using it as prescribed, nor in a safe environment.

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 Post subject: Re: The Rear Scope
PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 8:07 pm 
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Seems as though the health community, apparently the more honest part of it, anyway, are changing their minds on the benefits of such burrowing in dark, dank places.

Not because of the danger of any anesthesia, but of less necessity and more contamination problems than ever imagined.

It seems that there have been a number of cases, where maybe "super bugs", were passed on to even numerous other patients. The last one I read about, 7 people died!

But if your doctor friend needs a new boat or maybe Mercedes, a real friend would climb right up on the table!



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