There is a simple solution. You buy the newest updated forum software and you pay to get this forums data converted to work with the new forum.
I am not talking about the Rhetorical you but about you Bowhuntercop.
The forum software that this site runs on does not support what you want to do.
Contact WWW.Carbonmedia.com in order to make your offer to finance the conversion. I am sure that they will be glad to hear from you.