My 16 year old daughter got her driver's license yesterday. This is my third kid to get their license with one more to go. She is a very responsible young lady who has a strong sense of right and wrong, makes good grades, and most importantly, knows that she doesn't have to have a boyfriend. She prefers to shoot a basketball instead of a gun which is just fine because she is pretty good at it. Alright, enough bragging and on to my question. Should she drive our 1998 suburban or my brand new Toyota Tacoma. I think the Toyota would be easier for her to drive but, for crying out loud, it's brand new! Of course she is much more important than the truck. What do you wise old men think?
My daughter gets her driver's license-What car?
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My 16 year old daughter got her driver's license yesterday. This is my third kid to get their license with one more to go. She is a very responsible young lady who has a strong sense of right and wrong, makes good grades, and most importantly, knows that she doesn't have to have a boyfriend. She prefers to shoot a basketball instead of a gun which is just fine because she is pretty good at it. Alright, enough bragging and on to my question. Should she drive our 1998 suburban or my brand new Toyota Tacoma. I think the Toyota would be easier for her to drive but, for crying out loud, it's brand new! Of course she is much more important than the truck. What do you wise old men think?
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I have reared three children and six grandchildren; well, I helped raise the grandchildren! :mrgreen:
I would not turn a teen loose with a newer car. I suggest that you let her drive the older car for a year. If she indeed lives up to your expectations, then consider allowing her to drive your best car.
One of my grandchildren appeared on the surface to be a very responsible person. So, I gave him one of my older cars. He never lifted the hood to check anything and ended up with a burned up engine. He forgot to check the water and a hose was leaking. After spending almost $1000 to replace the head gaskets, he did it again by not looking at the temp gauge. A stuck thermostat toasted the engine. I went over all this before turning the keys over to him but he, and most teens have the opinion that if the gas gauge shows that there is fuel, that is the only gauge that matters.
My daughter, now a school teacher, with a master's degree and kids of her own in college, didn't tell me that the "check engine" light was on. It cost me over $3000 to replace the engine and several sensors.
Why tell you this? Maybe it will help. Every teen needs a thorough understanding of what can go wrong, what to check, to lift the hood at least once per day to check the fluids, how to change a spare tire, etc. I now have my grandchildren change a tire, check the fluids, and do a battery jump while I watch them. It gives them confidence. It gives you satisfaction that you won't be called out of a peaceful slumber to rescue your child when a tire goes flat or the battery dies.
FWIW, my suggestion is to let your daughter drive the older car for at least a while until she gains your trust that she will do what is necessary to keep the car from letting her down. Have her change a tire, do a battery jump, check all the fluids, while you watch and teach. Even a new car can give problems.
I would not turn a teen loose with a newer car. I suggest that you let her drive the older car for a year. If she indeed lives up to your expectations, then consider allowing her to drive your best car.
One of my grandchildren appeared on the surface to be a very responsible person. So, I gave him one of my older cars. He never lifted the hood to check anything and ended up with a burned up engine. He forgot to check the water and a hose was leaking. After spending almost $1000 to replace the head gaskets, he did it again by not looking at the temp gauge. A stuck thermostat toasted the engine. I went over all this before turning the keys over to him but he, and most teens have the opinion that if the gas gauge shows that there is fuel, that is the only gauge that matters.
My daughter, now a school teacher, with a master's degree and kids of her own in college, didn't tell me that the "check engine" light was on. It cost me over $3000 to replace the engine and several sensors.
Why tell you this? Maybe it will help. Every teen needs a thorough understanding of what can go wrong, what to check, to lift the hood at least once per day to check the fluids, how to change a spare tire, etc. I now have my grandchildren change a tire, check the fluids, and do a battery jump while I watch them. It gives them confidence. It gives you satisfaction that you won't be called out of a peaceful slumber to rescue your child when a tire goes flat or the battery dies.
FWIW, my suggestion is to let your daughter drive the older car for at least a while until she gains your trust that she will do what is necessary to keep the car from letting her down. Have her change a tire, do a battery jump, check all the fluids, while you watch and teach. Even a new car can give problems.
EV, thanks for your input. Having raised 2 children, I do know that teenagers will be teenagers. My oldest son went through a 1974 Ford Maverick and an old chevy truck in short order. Granted they were both on their last leg, but I also know that he didn't know the first letter of the word "responsible" at that age. The school of hard knocks and a lot of tough love from my wife and I have been his best education. I agree that an older vehicle is better, I'm just concerned that she will have a more difficult time handling the larger suburban. I'm certainly concerned with her safety, but I am also concerned with her running or backing over someone else. Just last week I witnessed a girl get hit by a large 4x4 in the high school parking lot. Fortunately her injuries were limited to a broken arm, scrapes and bruises. If it wasn't for the Good Lord we wouldn't get any of them raised.
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Being a 27 year old youngin I can only give you my expeirence from her perspective. When I turned 15 general maintenance of the family vehicles (89 Dodge Dakota, 95 Dodge minivan) became my responsibility. I drove family vehicles untill I could buy my own and I never had a mechanical problem from neglect. My brother (5 years younger than me) was given his first car at 16 and a few months later fried the motor from lack of oil. (he still gets called "dipstick" from time to time). I'm not suggesting you make her do oil changes but there are pleanty of $1000 cars and doing a little maintenance check with her from time to time may help. I do know that a teen shows much more respect for a vehicle bought on their dime than they do for the "beater" mom and dad got for them.
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I would never 'give' a teenager a car unless there was some extreme reason they needed one. It's not derrogatory to say that a teen isn't ready for the responsibility of a car yet.
What my dad did was give me keys to both of our family cars. My parents had priority, but whenever a car was available, I could use it. Through this process I learned what it takes to own a car. I had to wash them, check the oil and tune them up. I changed tires, mufflers and attempted to replace some parts that I probably shouldn't have. All that was chalked up to experience and I never got in trouble because I wasn't abusing them and my dad understood the value of the experience.
I think you're on the right track with your daughter. Just be prepared for a dent or two. Only let her drive with you in the car for a while. Then let her take short trips by herself.
Also, my dad required both my sister and I to drive the 1977 Ford LTDII. It was an absolute land yacht. It was a good experience though. Once you know how to drive the big car, the small ones are cake.
Dad also required us to use our mirrors to back up. Because of that I can now back a trailer through a series of turns without turning around in my seat. I'm not great at it, but I can do it. My wife can't do it at all.
Put your daughter in the Suburban and be ready for a couple of dents. She will be better for it and it has nothing to do with the age of the vehicle.
What my dad did was give me keys to both of our family cars. My parents had priority, but whenever a car was available, I could use it. Through this process I learned what it takes to own a car. I had to wash them, check the oil and tune them up. I changed tires, mufflers and attempted to replace some parts that I probably shouldn't have. All that was chalked up to experience and I never got in trouble because I wasn't abusing them and my dad understood the value of the experience.
I think you're on the right track with your daughter. Just be prepared for a dent or two. Only let her drive with you in the car for a while. Then let her take short trips by herself.
Also, my dad required both my sister and I to drive the 1977 Ford LTDII. It was an absolute land yacht. It was a good experience though. Once you know how to drive the big car, the small ones are cake.
Dad also required us to use our mirrors to back up. Because of that I can now back a trailer through a series of turns without turning around in my seat. I'm not great at it, but I can do it. My wife can't do it at all.
Put your daughter in the Suburban and be ready for a couple of dents. She will be better for it and it has nothing to do with the age of the vehicle.
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My grandchildren are addicted to texting. I can't get a conversation going with them because they have to answer a text or send one. One of them can send and answer with one hand almost undetected. I tell them to turn off the phones before they visit me. They do---sometimes. I have to remind them as nice as I can that they came to visit me not some kid that I can' see.
I kid you not, one of my grandchildren came over to help me rake my yard last week. He raked with on hand and texted with the other. Since he was a volunteer, I didn't say anything to him. It was rather comical to watch him.
Texting is more addictive than this forum. No? It really is! :mrgreen:
I kid you not, one of my grandchildren came over to help me rake my yard last week. He raked with on hand and texted with the other. Since he was a volunteer, I didn't say anything to him. It was rather comical to watch him.
Texting is more addictive than this forum. No? It really is! :mrgreen:
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The best thing to do is to get a beater. Don't let them think of it as "theirs". Let them help with maintainance or at least accompany you to the shop. When mine were growing up, cellphones weren't "the thing" so I didn't have to worry about the texting or talking stuff. Let her know that driving YOUR car is a priviledge, not a guarantee.
Set some rules and stand by them. Let your kids know, up front, what the consequences will be for misuse of your trust...AND MEAN IT.
Dang! I'm starting to sound like my Dad!
HWD
Set some rules and stand by them. Let your kids know, up front, what the consequences will be for misuse of your trust...AND MEAN IT.
Dang! I'm starting to sound like my Dad!
HWD
I've told her that she would be driving the suburban. It was the first car she ever drove when she was first learning to drive. We were on a lonely New Mexico country road and she managed to side swipe a mesquite bush. She has come a long way since then. I have warned her about her cell phone. I have also told her that it usually takes two people to have an accident. One person doing something stupid, and another person not watching the stupid person.
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I don't know how things have changed regarding newly minted teen drivers and insurance coverage. I know the rates are still high for the 16-25 y.o. age group.
However, when I got my DL in the 1980's our family's auto insurance rates automatically increased due to the mere fact of me having a DL in my pocket - and we were only a two car family. To help reduce the costs, our insurance agent advised my parents to list me as a part-time driver on the oldest and least valuable car in the family. I was still able to drive my Dad's car in rare circumstances and still have coverage. But as was explained to my parents, if I had not been listed on the policy as having some driving privileges with the family cars, I would have been considered an uninsured driver in the event of an accident.
As for upkeep and maintenance, I was taught early in life to respect my belongings and that if I abused them they would not be replaced. The FINANCIAL responsibilities of a car were my wakeup call! Several of my in-laws are in the car business and have told me that one of the most common reasons for them losing a sale is that potential customers forget to check what the insurance rates will be on their nifty, late model cars. They know they can make the monthly payments, but forget about the new car insurance rates.
However, when I got my DL in the 1980's our family's auto insurance rates automatically increased due to the mere fact of me having a DL in my pocket - and we were only a two car family. To help reduce the costs, our insurance agent advised my parents to list me as a part-time driver on the oldest and least valuable car in the family. I was still able to drive my Dad's car in rare circumstances and still have coverage. But as was explained to my parents, if I had not been listed on the policy as having some driving privileges with the family cars, I would have been considered an uninsured driver in the event of an accident.
As for upkeep and maintenance, I was taught early in life to respect my belongings and that if I abused them they would not be replaced. The FINANCIAL responsibilities of a car were my wakeup call! Several of my in-laws are in the car business and have told me that one of the most common reasons for them losing a sale is that potential customers forget to check what the insurance rates will be on their nifty, late model cars. They know they can make the monthly payments, but forget about the new car insurance rates.
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My sister is 18 and my brother 16. Most of their friends will just pull out their I Phones or Blackberries and just start surfing the web or texting when there is there is a dull moment. Even when parents are talking to them or they're with a group of friends, they need instant entertainment. I came from from school for fall break and took my brother and his friends to a movie. One of the friends was on his I phone through the whole movie texting, and the phone is extremely bright, which is extremely annoying. I told him to shut it off. Since he was texting the whole time, he kept asking what happened in the movie...I almost flipped out. My Dad has a rule that no phones are brought to dinner or any family events. The mass texting and technological baby sitting though an I phone or blackberry are rampant among highschool students and younger. I got my first phone at 16 when I could drive with now texting. I see so many kids even around 9 that have them now with internet capabilities and such. My Dad can't stand it when a friend of my brother or sister (not so much my brother or sister because we have learned) just starts texting when he's trying to talk to them. It makes me mad too. I'll be on the road sometimes and the car ahead of me will be going too slow or something, and sure enough some young girl or guy is looking down texting. Kids around me have gotten in accidents because of it.evbutler said:
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Agreed on the beater, for another reason...
If she starts off with a new car she'll become accustomed, even expect a new car and all it's niceties. What does she do for an encore, especially at a time of high unemployment for recent college grads and young people in general? Get her used to feeling comfortable in a beater. Make her buy at least most of her own gas...the suburban will keep her close to home :wink: .
Here's another thought: When pilots first learn to fly (as kids) the can "solo" at 16, meaning fly alone or with other licensed pilots/instructors. At 17 they can get their "private" license, meaning can carry passengers, but only in good weather. Why not let her drive only alone or with mom/dad/friend's parent until 17?
Also, any time you or your wife go somewhere with your daughter (do teenagers still do things with parents, ever?
) let her drive, so you can observe how she is progressing or regressing.
If she starts off with a new car she'll become accustomed, even expect a new car and all it's niceties. What does she do for an encore, especially at a time of high unemployment for recent college grads and young people in general? Get her used to feeling comfortable in a beater. Make her buy at least most of her own gas...the suburban will keep her close to home :wink: .
Here's another thought: When pilots first learn to fly (as kids) the can "solo" at 16, meaning fly alone or with other licensed pilots/instructors. At 17 they can get their "private" license, meaning can carry passengers, but only in good weather. Why not let her drive only alone or with mom/dad/friend's parent until 17?
Also, any time you or your wife go somewhere with your daughter (do teenagers still do things with parents, ever?
) let her drive, so you can observe how she is progressing or regressing.Best kid car decision we ever made was to get a used car with a manual tranmission. All four of our kids learned on it and we've had great luck with their driving performance, but the unexpected advantage has been that almost NONE of their friends could use it.
Kids these days seem to think a stick shift just means the auto trans lever is on the floor.
Kids these days seem to think a stick shift just means the auto trans lever is on the floor.
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I got my first truck for free...from my grandad when he died. It's a nice truck, a '97 F 150 Lariat. I buy all my own gas, and I burn about $40 a week in it. I also pay my insurance, which works out to a little over $100 a month. It costs me about $250 a month to drive, which required me to get a job if I wanted to continue to drive. I got a job as a cashier down at the grocery store. Of the 15-20 hours I work every week, I work 9 just to have the privelage of driving.
NC has a graduated license program. You take driver's ed, then drive for 6 hours with an instructor before you can even go to the DMV to get your learner's permit. You can get your permit when you're 15, and you have to keep it for at least a year, unless you turn 18 before the year is up. I had been 16 for over a month when I got my license, but I had to keep my permit a year.
Once you get your permit, you can drive between 5 AM and 9 PM with any licensed driver that has had their license for more than 5 years. The two of you can be the only ones in the front seat. After you've had your permit for 6 months, you can drive at any hour, but with the other two restrictions staying the same.
When you get your "Limited Provisional License", it goes back to 5AM-9PM, but with a new rule; you can only have one other person in the car for six months, along with the 5-9 rule. The exception to the 5-9 rule is going to/coming from work/school. At least you can drive by yourself.
After you've had your "Limited provisional license" for 6 months, you go back to the DMV and get your "Full provisional license." This is identical to a driver's license except for the number of tickets that you can get.
Just how it's done here in NC.
BT
NC has a graduated license program. You take driver's ed, then drive for 6 hours with an instructor before you can even go to the DMV to get your learner's permit. You can get your permit when you're 15, and you have to keep it for at least a year, unless you turn 18 before the year is up. I had been 16 for over a month when I got my license, but I had to keep my permit a year.
Once you get your permit, you can drive between 5 AM and 9 PM with any licensed driver that has had their license for more than 5 years. The two of you can be the only ones in the front seat. After you've had your permit for 6 months, you can drive at any hour, but with the other two restrictions staying the same.
When you get your "Limited Provisional License", it goes back to 5AM-9PM, but with a new rule; you can only have one other person in the car for six months, along with the 5-9 rule. The exception to the 5-9 rule is going to/coming from work/school. At least you can drive by yourself.
After you've had your "Limited provisional license" for 6 months, you go back to the DMV and get your "Full provisional license." This is identical to a driver's license except for the number of tickets that you can get.
Just how it's done here in NC.
BT
That's the same way it's done here in Wisconsin. Honestly, I never had a problem with it. It's done for a reason - which is to save lives.Beginner Trap said:
When I was 16, I got my dad's old S10 truck. It was a rustbucket but man, I was so excited just to even have a vehicle. I did all the maintenance on it and I truly learned to appreciate what I had. Now I drive a newer S10.
Being a "youngin'" myself, I have a phone with all the options. I personally never text or talk, even with a bluetooth headset, while I'm driving. It's way too distracting. Texting while driving is proven to be even worse than being drunk.
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