[evbutler]

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

Just some notes that I took a long time ago. Thoughts for sharing with friends.

 

[Rastoff]

Keep thinking out loud Ev, it's good for our souls.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
This is one I'm dealing with right now. I have a friend that is in an inappropriate relationship. I'm not sure how or if I should say anything.

 

[Maser]

#11 kind of struck a nerve with me.

All throughout my childhood I was physically abused by my older brother and verbally abused by my parents. My brother's abuse not only ruined my childhood, but also earned me a rather embarrassing medical condition later when I got into my teen years. My parent's abuse, which may of not been physically painful other than the spankings or the belt from my dad (which I deserved), hurt far more than any physical pain which goes away quickly, but the verbal abuse never goes away and it is still pouring over into my life now. I will be turning 20 on the 1st of October and I may have a decent paying job which pays for the bills and is able to support my son, girlfriend, and of course myself, I just feel I could be doing better and maybe not only continuing to save money for my son's college fund, but also maybe start my own. But thanks to my parents constantly telling me how stupid and worthless I am, I have absolutely no willpower to go and get a college education. I am NOT stuck in apathy, but rather that I know myself better than anyone else and I know what I can and can't accomplish. Right now the most important thing is be able to support my family and teach my son good family values even if he is only 3 years old.

The problem with my older brother has obviously been resolved after he realized what his abuse done to me and we are 100% square now. For awhile my little brother resented me because he felt I just abandoned him when I moved out. We also resolved that problem. I would love nothing else but to resolve things with my parents, but I just don't know how to come to them and confront them about how they have messed with my head. Like I said already, my family I started is the most important thing in my life at the moment. The only thing that my parent's abuse is affecting is my willpower to go out and better my education.

I just think for my own peace of mind, I should just wait it out for maybe a few more years before I open up to them. They are healthy people and aren't going anywhere anytime soon (knock on wood).

It's just kind of makes me laugh a bit in my mind thinking about all the negative things said about my by my parents and yet everyday I come home from work, I'm greeted with the love of my life and the product of the love at my life. Honestly, I could have the most horrible day at work and coming home and seeing the bright eyes of a 3 year old light up and with the greatest looking smile, just cheers me up 100%. Thank God that God forsaken potty training phase is all over now. Honestly, I feel the single hardest thing to achieve in life if finding true love. My parents told me I'd never achieve it, but proved them completely wrong and it puts a huge smile on my face. If only I knew then what I know now, maybe I wouldn't of let it ruin me so much.

And maybe a bit of #12 as well. I have been sore and tired all week from working and my right shoulder has been killing me. Well, I was resting on the couch and Maser Jr. came up to me and grabbed my shoulder and pulled on it. I'm not ashamed to say that my eyes came rather close to tearing up over that.

Sorry for the overly long post, but I love participating in threads like this where I can pretty much put my thoughts into keystrokes and share them with you fine folks.

 

[kateskeet]

That's a very touching post Maser. Thank goodness you have found someone fantastic to share your life with. We can't change how other people are so i find it easier to recognize how destructive some people are & just keep them at arms length so as to not get sucked in by their negativity. I had a difficult childhood which screwed me up but with a lot of hard work I now have good relationships with everyone in my life. I have a fantastic husband & 4 great kids. We either repeat our parents mistakes or we do the opposite- I've worked hard to be the opposite & it sounds like you have too. Accept that as a massive achievement & move on concentrating on your wife & kid- not the past. You've proved you can do that by allowing your brother into your life after what he did. That's more than most people could do. Best of luck with your parents & no you didn't deserve it. You were a kid. It would sometimes be easier for us to cut our parents out of our lives but for some reason we seem to still seek their approval even when sometimes it never comes. Be prepared for it never to come & if it does it's a bonus. Well done for getting on with your life- there are so many people who become victims for the rest of their lives & become alcoholics or druggies & you haven't done that so you're already up there in the minority- a winner.

 

[Paul F.]

Maser, you have come a long way since your first post. :wink: